Recently, several clients have said things to me along the lines of, ‘I know I need to do something or this pain will get worse’, ‘I know I’m not taking care of myself like I should.’ ‘I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know where to begin to make a change’. On the surface these statements have a feeling of defeat.
What I have said to these clients and would say to you if you are feeling this way is, you are doing something! Something very important and brave. You have taken a critical and necessary first step toward healing. Becoming aware.
Without awareness there is no choice. When we acknowledge our needs we make space for those needs to be met.
Your acknowledgement that you are overwhelmed, stressed, in need; your awareness that the current state of things is not sustainable for you and not in line with how you desire to live, this an accomplishment in and of itself.
The reasons we choose to downplay our own pain are as varied as we are. ‘I’m in pain but there is so much more suffering out in the world.’ ‘ At least I have my – legs, eyes, home, children, food to eat….’ ‘If I discuss my pain others will think I am weak, I will be seen as a whiner, I will see myself as as a whiner, I don’t want to be fussed over, I don’t have anyone to support me.’ It is no small task to stop ourselves from habitually reminding ourselves to ignore our hurts, pains, and needs. And there is no shame in having these feelings. In fact, knowing and understanding our fears can be an extremely useful tool as we move through our healing process. It is only that for as long as we disavow our needs that we can not begin to heal.
If you are reading this and know in your being that the time for change has come, I encourage you to give yourself a big hug or pat on the back. You have already done what many before you could not. You are acknowledging the truth that you are worthy of feeling better than you do today and that is the first step of making that a reality.